What if I made a mistake?

[kablegirl]

Hi All,
Thank you so much for all the helpful information on this forum. I am a relatively new budgie owner and appreciate your input. I have a bit of a long story, so please bear with me.

I bought a budgie from Petco in October. I was told she was a he and only after reading this forum did I realize I had a female bird. She was very quiet, although she did warm up to me right before Thanksgiving, even following me around the house and chirping loudly when I left the room. I had no problem getting her up onto my hand once she was out of the cage. Then suddenly (literally overnight) she decided she was afraid of me and stopped being so friendly. I was sad about this but kept trying. However I started to worry when day after day she just sat in her cage not making any sounds or moving much despite attention, music, other budgie noises from YouTube. I thought that maybe because I was away all day at work she was lonely and depressed.

So after about three weeks of depressed Betty, I broke down and bought another budgie, Tommy, in mid December. I am pretty sure he is a boy. He was very outgoing at the store (I was hoping to get a more "brave," talkative friend for Betty). I keep them in separate cages and mostly separate rooms, although they immediately started "talking" to each other. Betty is even less tame than before now that she has a friend, but she did get more active and talkative. I am continuing to work with Betty and she is a bit more tame but nothing like she was at first.

I have been following all the taming instructions with Tommy but he is actually much more skittish than Betty and one day escaped from his cage as I went to adjust a perch. I had to leave and did not want him to run into windows or anything harmful so I had to chase him with a kitchen towel and catch him to get him back in the cage. Then poor guy had another incident where my parents were moving his cage and it fell and broke open, so we had to catch him again. Of course now he is terrified of my hand and I am working hard with him every day to build trust, but he's very wary.

Betty is pretty good when Tommy is in another room or quiet, but as soon as he chirps she "reverts" back to being super untame. So now I have two lonely (I don't want to put them together until I can be sure both are able to get back into cages after being let out), untamed birds that pine for each other from opposite sides of my house. 

Do I have any hope whatsoever of taming these birds and making them my friends? If so, can you provide any advice on how I might do it? What should I do to recover from a "catching" incident? Give the bird space for a week or two? Or should I just bite the bullet and let them bond with each other?

Thanks so much for slogging through this post and for any advice you can give. I really want to be a good budgie owner but it seems I keep doing the wrong things!

[Hezz]

Who knows why Betty changed? I think there must have been something - is there anyone else who shares the house? Any other pets? But whatever happened, you probably will never know, so just work with what you have. The same goes with Tommy. There is no point in keeping the two birds apart. For quarantining in the beginning, yes, but since they have been together, allow them to be together. While the joys of having a budgie companion are vastly different to the joys of watching budgies interacting together, they are still wonderful little things to have around. Continue with your taming/training routine with each bird. I have found with two that you are working with, you need to spend time working with them individually and then spend a bit of time with them together. Also when you have them out of the cage and working with them, keep the other out of the room (they will still whistle to each other), swap them over, and then work with them together. They get used to you being one of them a little more easily this way, I think. Also have them in a small room, small bedroom, bathroom etc. This makes it much easier when time comes to put them back into their cage(s).

Do not wait for Tommy to settle down. This will not help. what you need to do is back off a bit with the hands, but still interact with him. If you need to move him around, offer a perch; offer pieces of millet, on the end of a perch if necessary, all things that require him to be a little closer to your hands without yet having to touch. As he gets more used to you doing this, try moving your hand a little closer, move your hand up the perch if you are giving him millet etc, until you have narrowed the gap down to nothing. This will take quite some time and the more times a day you can spend with both birds the better off you will be. Be prepared to be in this for the long run, 12 months or more. You are going to have to rebuild or earn their trust again. The more you put yourself amongst them the sooner they will accept you being there, and I don't only mean that in a physical sense, but mentally as well.

Most of all, continue. Don't give up. Patience, persistence, perseverance. Be prepared for set-backs; these are normal ......... and good luck!

[JennyB]

I'm too mch of a beginning myself to offer any advice but Hezz as usual has come up trumps. I hope things improve for you all gradually x

[Hezz]

I hope it helps, JennyB; we can only hope.