Post by chiprockskip on Jan 4, 2015 4:54:05 GMT
Devistated, so sad and left thinking what have i done wrong ? I've lost 5 of my little friends last year well one today !! And i know that i caused the deaht of one. It was back in Septembre when i last posted so i'll just bring you up to speed with things (it dose have a bearing on my feelings/actions) I think.
Last year was a strange time for me to say the least, first my partner of 18 years and i split up (just before poor Rocky died) this left me a little lost to say the least there's no need for details but it was no fault fo mine. Then after little Skipper went i was left with Sparky and Bluey the rescue bird. I had posted in Budgie health about them and you heard nothing since i'm afraid, i'm sorry for that but i may have mentiond that i do martial arts and in Novembre i was up for my 2nd dan grading in Ju-jitsu it's probably the hardest grading i'll ever do 3.5hr of techniques from attack and 18 rounds of fighting at the end. I'm not a young man anymore so i had to train hard, so somthing had to suffer. Well it wasn't the birds so amongst other things it was you sorry. I am pleased to say i am now a second dan black belt in Atemi Ju-jitsu and still have an open wound on my leg to prove it.
More to the point i am able to tell Bluey and Sparkys story now. Bluey, as i have said he was a rescue and the vet had put his problems down to kidney trouble. Someone had asked back in Sep what had led the vet to think this. I think it was his poo it was an olive green with very little white in it and it was sticking to the feathers around his vent and making him uncomfortable. He also added that he thought it'd been brought on by stress has he had been treated cruly. Bluey was also scared stiff of peoples hands he was okay with faces but hands ...no no. A short while after he came to me i spoke with the last of his 5 privous owners and laughingly she said sorry he's got no toys but the kids broke them all, then with no more remorse said we had to keep him in a room on his own co's the kids kept knocking his cage over. I can only assume he was still in it. So me being me i took it apon myself to do whatever i could for the little fella. I read up on avian kidney problems and discoverd that a group of drugs called sulphamezathene's can be used to treat kidney disorders. I returned to the vet's with this only to be told that this is an old treatment and good old baytrill was better, i had spoke to the most bird savvy vet at our practice and he did let one thing slip and he absently said that baytrill was almost useless given in water ?? This then is how i killed poor Bluey the vet said if we were going to help him it'd have to be by neat baytrill given by siringe into his beak every day for 6 weeks. And for this the dose would have to be bang on, so he had to be weighed. I'd been so bloody wraped up trying to be a vet and Bruse Lee that i'd compleatly forgot about little Bluey's fear. And that was it he died on that first visit in the vets hand. Ever scince i've felt so guilty running around trying to be Mr know it all if only i'd let him be. I dont know how long he would have lived, a week ? a month ? a year ? but it'd have been longer than he did. Poor Bluey all his life he'd sufferd then when he finds a home and a friend i go and kill him, i'm so sorry Bluey. I know you didn't have long with us and i hope that those few weeks of love and friendship with Sparky made up for the rest of your poor life. And i hope God lets you understand that i was only trying to help put things right. Forgive me little mate.
Sparky, 9 months old and died this morning. Poor little mate
After Bluey went Sparky soon got over it he was young and perhaps used to it as only days after he arrived Skipper died. Well then it was me n Sparky against the world we got on so well. As he was all alone i made sure that i spent lots of time with him. He'd always fligh free when i was home. At first he'd be a little shy i'd open his door and he'd just look and somtimes i'd have to help him out but as soon as he was out he'd be off round the room like a rocket. When i first started to train him he'd fly up to a picture rail and i'd use a walking stick gently i'd hold it next to him and he'd get on then i'd lower it down and he'd hop off onto my finger. And this stuck even when he was happy to sit on my head, finger or arm if he flew up to the picture rail he'd wait to be lifted down on the stick. That stick will always be Sparkys stick now. And stubborn if he didnt want to come out of the cage !! you could stick your finger in and push him but he wouldnt get on and he wouldn't come out till he was ready. By November we'd sit together for hours we'd sing togther he'd rub his beak on my nose. Somtimes we'd watch a film together i mean it he'd sit on my finger faceing the same way with his back to me watching the telly. He never seemd to play with his toys much, he did but not much as soon as i came in the room he'd be waiting to come out. At night we had a routine but if he didn't want to go in he'd run up my arm as i tryed to put him in. But when i did get him in he'd go and get some seed's then we'd say "the words" kind of prayer's but for birds. During this he'd make his way up to his top pearch there he'd wait for Hanna Montana to come !! I picked up two "Hanna Montana" fleecy throws cheep just right for cage covers. And he'd still be there in the morning only somtimes with all the training i'd be a bit late and he'd be at his seed pot and the look he'd give me "i've had to get to the seed pot with the covers still on" sorry mate. Needless to say we were getting on fine and i realy loved that little fella and i'm pretty sure he did me. ( There's a photo of a bird that looks just like Sparky, Moogie's photo the bird on the left with the yellow face, sorry i forget his name but he looks just like my Sparky)
Anyhow last, well looking back Monday night he was fluffed up a bit just before we went to bed. And then Tuesday morning he was all fluffed and sleped most of the day. I thought oh no and taking my lesson from Rocky (he'd been like that) so i got him to the vets Wednesday tea time. I was a bit dissapointed as thay all rememberd Bluey dieing in the vets hand and she was reluctant to try and touch him. He got loose but my Sparkys a real cool bird so all i had to do was hold my hand up and as good as gold he came stright to me. She was well impressed and he even hoped onto her hand to let her look at him. However i didnt feel she'd looked at him properly as i had to point out what i could see and that wasn't much, apart from sleeping and being fluffed up his tail was constantly twiching if he'd been a human i'd have said he was clenching his bottom repetetedly. And all this was being relayed down the phone (in another room) to the bird savvy vet. We came away with nothing but instructions to collect his poo to be sent off to be analyesd but co's of the new year i couldn't take it in till yesterday (Fri 2nd) at a cost of £94.76 not that bothers me anything to help Sparky.
So that was it over the new year we sat together at first i kept him in and we had the heating up to keep him warm but he didn't want to be in his cage he wanted to be with me. I know your supposed to keem them warm and quiet but he was more stressed with that. So we kept the blind drawn and the heat up and i sat with him all day and all evening. He'd sleep and not want to go in at night. Yesterday and later on new years day he began to act a little strange, flying up to the closed blind flying off and sitting in places he'd never shown intrest in before. He was still eating and drinking so i clung to hope that he's young and strong. But deep down i think i knew he was acting just the same as Rocky did slept alot then seemd to liven up but in a strange way. I knew last night, he realy didn't want to go to bed and when he did he woudn't stay on his sleeping pearch. Dam it i knew i should have stayed with him last night. I've been leaving the light on low for him and last night i didn't i wanted him to rest as when he flew he'd been slowing down only just makeing the pictuer rail and the last few nights when we say "the words" i've been saying "look little mate if you dont make it through the night i want you to know how much you've been loved" and last night i didn't say it i dont know why. I know he didnt understand but somehow right now it seems important.
This morning i uncoverd him first i thought he'd gone down to the seed pot or rather i hoped. I knew somehow as soon as i opend the door even though he dosen't useually make a noise there was a stillness that wasn't ever there before. Poor little Sparky he was on the cage floor and even with my poor eyesight i could see where his strugles had rubed the sand sheet smooth and moved it as one of his feet was grasping the bar underneath and i had to prise it away to pick him up. Poor Sparky alone and in the dark he must have been so frightend and all he ever wanted was to be with me. I feel as its my fault as i made him depend on me he didn't want toys he wanted me, he didn't want to sit in his cage he wanted to sit with me, he didn't want to go to bed he wanted to be with me. Lodgic says i'm just projecting human feelings on to an animal but to hell with lodgic i know what i know. That little bird loved me and i feel that i let him down. And i too feel empty after Mo (my ex) left Sparky helped fill a place in my life with his little cheeky face and his need for me, and in return i loved and needed him. Only 9 months old he had so much life to live and i looked forward to showing him things and teaching him. And if i could say somthing to him now i'd say Sparky i think you know how much i loved you and i know that you loved me. I know we only had 5 months toghther but you came into my life at a time when i realy needed somthing. And you came along you gave me someone to care for a friend to talk to. You made me laugh when all i wanted to do was give in and cry. All this and more. To me you were more than just a Budgie, a magic special bird like we talked about in the words eh. I dont know what took you from me but i do know it was to soon, we'd only just begun. I know i wasn't ready to say good bye and right now i'd give so much to have you back, but it's not to be is it little mate. Tomrrow i'll lay you to rest along side your mate Bluey and Skipper, Rocky and Chippy too. And life will go on but my life will be all the more duller without your little yellow face looking for me. Bye bye my loyal little mate i love you and i'll always remembere you, not long enough together.
So thats it Blueys and Sparkys story. I've washed his cage and all the toys he didn't play with and put them away. No more ! The way i feel right now no more, i do so love these little creatures but thay always break my heart unlike any other pet i've ever had. I blame myself for poor Blueys death and i dont know what took my Rocky and Sparky maybe even Skipper. Certainly both Rocky and Sparky went far to young and it seems to me to be of the same thing. I've always said that we have a duty of care to any animal that we take in for our own ends be it pleasure or profit. So if an ordenary vet can't look after one of there little birds what chance have i ? I have made mistakes and it has led to the death of one bird and who knows maybe Rocky and Sparky as well even Skipper and having said that what right have i to take another one of these happy little birds and gamble with its life. I'm sorry for being so negative it's just the way i'm feeling right now. I apologise if i've upset anyone it wan't my intention. And i welcome any comments
Last year was a strange time for me to say the least, first my partner of 18 years and i split up (just before poor Rocky died) this left me a little lost to say the least there's no need for details but it was no fault fo mine. Then after little Skipper went i was left with Sparky and Bluey the rescue bird. I had posted in Budgie health about them and you heard nothing since i'm afraid, i'm sorry for that but i may have mentiond that i do martial arts and in Novembre i was up for my 2nd dan grading in Ju-jitsu it's probably the hardest grading i'll ever do 3.5hr of techniques from attack and 18 rounds of fighting at the end. I'm not a young man anymore so i had to train hard, so somthing had to suffer. Well it wasn't the birds so amongst other things it was you sorry. I am pleased to say i am now a second dan black belt in Atemi Ju-jitsu and still have an open wound on my leg to prove it.
More to the point i am able to tell Bluey and Sparkys story now. Bluey, as i have said he was a rescue and the vet had put his problems down to kidney trouble. Someone had asked back in Sep what had led the vet to think this. I think it was his poo it was an olive green with very little white in it and it was sticking to the feathers around his vent and making him uncomfortable. He also added that he thought it'd been brought on by stress has he had been treated cruly. Bluey was also scared stiff of peoples hands he was okay with faces but hands ...no no. A short while after he came to me i spoke with the last of his 5 privous owners and laughingly she said sorry he's got no toys but the kids broke them all, then with no more remorse said we had to keep him in a room on his own co's the kids kept knocking his cage over. I can only assume he was still in it. So me being me i took it apon myself to do whatever i could for the little fella. I read up on avian kidney problems and discoverd that a group of drugs called sulphamezathene's can be used to treat kidney disorders. I returned to the vet's with this only to be told that this is an old treatment and good old baytrill was better, i had spoke to the most bird savvy vet at our practice and he did let one thing slip and he absently said that baytrill was almost useless given in water ?? This then is how i killed poor Bluey the vet said if we were going to help him it'd have to be by neat baytrill given by siringe into his beak every day for 6 weeks. And for this the dose would have to be bang on, so he had to be weighed. I'd been so bloody wraped up trying to be a vet and Bruse Lee that i'd compleatly forgot about little Bluey's fear. And that was it he died on that first visit in the vets hand. Ever scince i've felt so guilty running around trying to be Mr know it all if only i'd let him be. I dont know how long he would have lived, a week ? a month ? a year ? but it'd have been longer than he did. Poor Bluey all his life he'd sufferd then when he finds a home and a friend i go and kill him, i'm so sorry Bluey. I know you didn't have long with us and i hope that those few weeks of love and friendship with Sparky made up for the rest of your poor life. And i hope God lets you understand that i was only trying to help put things right. Forgive me little mate.
Sparky, 9 months old and died this morning. Poor little mate
After Bluey went Sparky soon got over it he was young and perhaps used to it as only days after he arrived Skipper died. Well then it was me n Sparky against the world we got on so well. As he was all alone i made sure that i spent lots of time with him. He'd always fligh free when i was home. At first he'd be a little shy i'd open his door and he'd just look and somtimes i'd have to help him out but as soon as he was out he'd be off round the room like a rocket. When i first started to train him he'd fly up to a picture rail and i'd use a walking stick gently i'd hold it next to him and he'd get on then i'd lower it down and he'd hop off onto my finger. And this stuck even when he was happy to sit on my head, finger or arm if he flew up to the picture rail he'd wait to be lifted down on the stick. That stick will always be Sparkys stick now. And stubborn if he didnt want to come out of the cage !! you could stick your finger in and push him but he wouldnt get on and he wouldn't come out till he was ready. By November we'd sit together for hours we'd sing togther he'd rub his beak on my nose. Somtimes we'd watch a film together i mean it he'd sit on my finger faceing the same way with his back to me watching the telly. He never seemd to play with his toys much, he did but not much as soon as i came in the room he'd be waiting to come out. At night we had a routine but if he didn't want to go in he'd run up my arm as i tryed to put him in. But when i did get him in he'd go and get some seed's then we'd say "the words" kind of prayer's but for birds. During this he'd make his way up to his top pearch there he'd wait for Hanna Montana to come !! I picked up two "Hanna Montana" fleecy throws cheep just right for cage covers. And he'd still be there in the morning only somtimes with all the training i'd be a bit late and he'd be at his seed pot and the look he'd give me "i've had to get to the seed pot with the covers still on" sorry mate. Needless to say we were getting on fine and i realy loved that little fella and i'm pretty sure he did me. ( There's a photo of a bird that looks just like Sparky, Moogie's photo the bird on the left with the yellow face, sorry i forget his name but he looks just like my Sparky)
Anyhow last, well looking back Monday night he was fluffed up a bit just before we went to bed. And then Tuesday morning he was all fluffed and sleped most of the day. I thought oh no and taking my lesson from Rocky (he'd been like that) so i got him to the vets Wednesday tea time. I was a bit dissapointed as thay all rememberd Bluey dieing in the vets hand and she was reluctant to try and touch him. He got loose but my Sparkys a real cool bird so all i had to do was hold my hand up and as good as gold he came stright to me. She was well impressed and he even hoped onto her hand to let her look at him. However i didnt feel she'd looked at him properly as i had to point out what i could see and that wasn't much, apart from sleeping and being fluffed up his tail was constantly twiching if he'd been a human i'd have said he was clenching his bottom repetetedly. And all this was being relayed down the phone (in another room) to the bird savvy vet. We came away with nothing but instructions to collect his poo to be sent off to be analyesd but co's of the new year i couldn't take it in till yesterday (Fri 2nd) at a cost of £94.76 not that bothers me anything to help Sparky.
So that was it over the new year we sat together at first i kept him in and we had the heating up to keep him warm but he didn't want to be in his cage he wanted to be with me. I know your supposed to keem them warm and quiet but he was more stressed with that. So we kept the blind drawn and the heat up and i sat with him all day and all evening. He'd sleep and not want to go in at night. Yesterday and later on new years day he began to act a little strange, flying up to the closed blind flying off and sitting in places he'd never shown intrest in before. He was still eating and drinking so i clung to hope that he's young and strong. But deep down i think i knew he was acting just the same as Rocky did slept alot then seemd to liven up but in a strange way. I knew last night, he realy didn't want to go to bed and when he did he woudn't stay on his sleeping pearch. Dam it i knew i should have stayed with him last night. I've been leaving the light on low for him and last night i didn't i wanted him to rest as when he flew he'd been slowing down only just makeing the pictuer rail and the last few nights when we say "the words" i've been saying "look little mate if you dont make it through the night i want you to know how much you've been loved" and last night i didn't say it i dont know why. I know he didnt understand but somehow right now it seems important.
This morning i uncoverd him first i thought he'd gone down to the seed pot or rather i hoped. I knew somehow as soon as i opend the door even though he dosen't useually make a noise there was a stillness that wasn't ever there before. Poor little Sparky he was on the cage floor and even with my poor eyesight i could see where his strugles had rubed the sand sheet smooth and moved it as one of his feet was grasping the bar underneath and i had to prise it away to pick him up. Poor Sparky alone and in the dark he must have been so frightend and all he ever wanted was to be with me. I feel as its my fault as i made him depend on me he didn't want toys he wanted me, he didn't want to sit in his cage he wanted to sit with me, he didn't want to go to bed he wanted to be with me. Lodgic says i'm just projecting human feelings on to an animal but to hell with lodgic i know what i know. That little bird loved me and i feel that i let him down. And i too feel empty after Mo (my ex) left Sparky helped fill a place in my life with his little cheeky face and his need for me, and in return i loved and needed him. Only 9 months old he had so much life to live and i looked forward to showing him things and teaching him. And if i could say somthing to him now i'd say Sparky i think you know how much i loved you and i know that you loved me. I know we only had 5 months toghther but you came into my life at a time when i realy needed somthing. And you came along you gave me someone to care for a friend to talk to. You made me laugh when all i wanted to do was give in and cry. All this and more. To me you were more than just a Budgie, a magic special bird like we talked about in the words eh. I dont know what took you from me but i do know it was to soon, we'd only just begun. I know i wasn't ready to say good bye and right now i'd give so much to have you back, but it's not to be is it little mate. Tomrrow i'll lay you to rest along side your mate Bluey and Skipper, Rocky and Chippy too. And life will go on but my life will be all the more duller without your little yellow face looking for me. Bye bye my loyal little mate i love you and i'll always remembere you, not long enough together.
So thats it Blueys and Sparkys story. I've washed his cage and all the toys he didn't play with and put them away. No more ! The way i feel right now no more, i do so love these little creatures but thay always break my heart unlike any other pet i've ever had. I blame myself for poor Blueys death and i dont know what took my Rocky and Sparky maybe even Skipper. Certainly both Rocky and Sparky went far to young and it seems to me to be of the same thing. I've always said that we have a duty of care to any animal that we take in for our own ends be it pleasure or profit. So if an ordenary vet can't look after one of there little birds what chance have i ? I have made mistakes and it has led to the death of one bird and who knows maybe Rocky and Sparky as well even Skipper and having said that what right have i to take another one of these happy little birds and gamble with its life. I'm sorry for being so negative it's just the way i'm feeling right now. I apologise if i've upset anyone it wan't my intention. And i welcome any comments
, RIP little ones.
