Oct 7, 2011 11:18:50 GMT
lupin
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Posts: 333
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Post by lupin on Jan 12, 2012 13:28:29 GMT
Got a great firdge magnet , so far i've got 15 fridges Ha ha ha - like it Ian ;D
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Oct 7, 2011 19:59:02 GMT
ianb
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Posts: 410
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Post by ianb on Jan 18, 2012 21:29:05 GMT
I treated the wife to one of those Fish Pedicures the other day.
I must admit I was pleased with the result......Those Piranhas don't mess about.
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Oct 6, 2011 7:41:27 GMT
Marianne Marlow
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George, Daisy, Iris, Billy, Peter, Chipper, Dinku, Barney, Ayla and Rocky
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Post by Marianne Marlow on Jan 19, 2012 9:46:27 GMT
This thread should be called "IanB's Standup thread"
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Oct 7, 2011 17:11:28 GMT
nipper123
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visit our website to follow our 2012 breeding season
Posts: 172
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Post by nipper123 on Jan 19, 2012 18:25:27 GMT
My mate said to me "you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back", I said "You're in a wheelchair you daft git!" ------------------------------ my mate was diagnosed as mute today,i thought ,blinking eck ,he kept that quiet ! ------------------------------- Ordered some budgie stuff online & I used my donor card instead of my debit card by mistake Cost me an arm and a leg !!
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Oct 7, 2011 19:59:02 GMT
ianb
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Posts: 410
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Post by ianb on Jan 19, 2012 18:44:32 GMT
This thread should be called "IanB's Standup thread" Thank you Marianne,but it's really the way i tell em
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Oct 7, 2011 19:59:02 GMT
ianb
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Posts: 410
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Post by ianb on Jan 21, 2012 20:29:30 GMT
Wife and I walked past a restaurant and she said "Wow, that food smells fantastic." So, me being the nice hubby I am, I said to myself, "sod it, I'll treat her". So, we walked past again! ;D
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Oct 7, 2011 19:59:02 GMT
ianb
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Posts: 410
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Post by ianb on Jan 21, 2012 20:39:54 GMT
The Irish have decided they are going to solve their own fuel shortages.
They are going to import 50 million tons of sand from the Arabs and drill for their own oil. ;D ;D
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Oct 7, 2011 19:59:02 GMT
ianb
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Posts: 410
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Post by ianb on Jan 29, 2012 21:25:43 GMT
Paddy the electrician has been sacked from H.M.prison for refusing to fix the electric chair,he said in his professional opinion it's a death trap.
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Oct 7, 2011 19:59:02 GMT
ianb
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Posts: 410
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Post by ianb on Jan 29, 2012 21:27:46 GMT
This thread should be called "IanB's Standup thread" there seems to be only me posting on this thread ,come on someone must know some good quips.
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Oct 6, 2011 7:41:27 GMT
Marianne Marlow
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Post by Marianne Marlow on Jan 30, 2012 10:53:21 GMT
But you're so good at it Ian.
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Post by stace on Jan 30, 2012 11:00:08 GMT
I'm no good at set piece jokes. I can never remember them. I do make up my own jokes though. Not always successfully, I might add.
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Oct 6, 2011 7:41:27 GMT
Marianne Marlow
Administrator
George, Daisy, Iris, Billy, Peter, Chipper, Dinku, Barney, Ayla and Rocky
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Post by Marianne Marlow on Jan 30, 2012 11:07:51 GMT
I bet Boo is good at telling jokes. You should teach him some Stace
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Post by stace on Jan 30, 2012 11:15:02 GMT
I bet Boo is good at telling jokes. You should teach him some Stace "Knock. Knock." "Who's there?""Boo!"
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Post by milliej on Feb 25, 2012 15:23:06 GMT
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
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Post by milliej on Feb 25, 2012 15:26:58 GMT
A young Polar Bear is out hunting with his mum. On the way back to the Den He asks his mum "Mum, am I really a Polar Bear?". His mum says "Of course you are, I'm a Polar Bear, your Dads a Polar Bear, that makes you a Polar Bear". The answer clearly didn't satisfy the youngster.
The following day on his way back from hunting with his dad he asks "Dad, am I really a Polar Bear?" His dad says "Of course you are, I'm a Polar Bear, your Mums a Polar Bear, that makes you a Polar Bear". Still not happy
The following day on the way back from the hunt he asks his mum "Mum, am I really a Polar Bear?". She says "Of course you are, I'm a Polar Bear, your Dads a Polar Bear, that makes you a Polar Bear! Look what's all this about, you keep asking the same question and we keep giving the same answer. Whats the problem?"
He answers "I'm B***** Freezing"
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