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Post by BudgiesBuddy on May 2, 2012 20:53:57 GMT
We have a similar version of this joke here. It's funny
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Apr 19, 2012 6:46:17 GMT
Betcherrygah-John
Brand New Budgie
Fly high little Larry, I miss you!
Posts: 38
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Post by Betcherrygah-John on May 3, 2012 20:08:56 GMT
A Blonde Joke - Apologies to all blondes
A blonde calls her boyfriend & says "Please come over an help me, I have a killer Jigsaw Puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started".
Her boyfriend asks what it is supposed to be when its finished. The blonde say, " According to the picture on the box its supposed to be a rooster".
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in & shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her & says, " First of all, no matter what we do, we are not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster".
He takes her hand & says " Second I want you to relax, Lets have a nice cup of tea, & then.....he says with a deep sigh, " Lets put all the cornflakes back in the box."
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Apr 19, 2012 6:46:17 GMT
Betcherrygah-John
Brand New Budgie
Fly high little Larry, I miss you!
Posts: 38
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Post by Betcherrygah-John on May 4, 2012 20:31:12 GMT
This man walks into a pet store and asks to see some cockatiels in different price ranges. The owner shows him this lutino and says this one is $500.00.
"Why so much?"
The owner replies: "this tiel can type and take shorthand!"
Then he shows him a pied valued at $1000.00. "WHy so much?"
This one can use lotus, excel and the internet! Then he shows him a normal grey valued at $5000.00.
"Hey that's outrageous", says the customer, "What can this one do?"
The owner answers nervously, "Well I haven't actually seen him do anything, but the other two call him BOSS!"
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Post by BudgiesBuddy on May 4, 2012 21:16:39 GMT
Nice one John
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Apr 19, 2012 6:46:17 GMT
Betcherrygah-John
Brand New Budgie
Fly high little Larry, I miss you!
Posts: 38
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Post by Betcherrygah-John on May 5, 2012 20:23:28 GMT
A person wanted a parrot who talked. Going to the pet store, this lover of talking parrots asked if there was a bird who was already speaking.
"Yes," the pet store owner said, "this bird has a vocabulary of 1000 words plus 50 phrases guaranteed to fit most occasions." The deal was made and the parrot was brought home complete with a cage. The next day the purchaser went back & said the parrot had yet to say a word.
"That's to be expected," said the pet shop owner. "Try getting the bird a few of the toys that were here for the bird to use in the shop. It just needs to feel at home with you." Toys were purchased and a day went by. The parrot's owner returned & said there still had been no talking.
"I see," said the pet shop owner. "Perhaps if you got a bird bath, the parrot would start to talk while using it." A bird bath was purchased and yet another day went by. The next day the owner was back with the same complaint. This time the pet shop owner mentioned that sometimes the bird had been praised in its training by being allowed to ring a little bell. The parrot's owner bought the bell reluctantly. The following day the parrot's owner was there waiting as the store opened.
"Still no luck?" asked the store owner.
"No. Nothing said yet," answered bird's owner.
"Well, I bet the bird's just lonesome for some of the birds here at the shop."
"What?!? You want me to buy another bird!?!" yelped the unhappy owner of the parrot.
"No, no, calm down," reassured the store owner. "All you have to do is get a mirror and the bird will think it has a companion." At last the sale of a mirror was agreed upon. The pet store owner the next day opened the store and found the troublesome customer had returned...this time with the parrot, only it was dead!
"What happened?" asked the store owner, "Didn't the bird ever talk?"
"Yes, right before it died it said: What's the matter? Don't they sell birdseed at the pet store anymore?"
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Post by BudgiesBuddy on May 9, 2012 20:46:37 GMT
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she sees the same parrot and it says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She is incredibly ticked off now.
The next day the same parrot again says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady is so ticked off that she goes into the store and says that she will sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager apologizes profusely and promises that he will make sure the parrot doesn't say it again.
When the lady walks past the store the next day, after work, the parrot calls to her and says, "Hey lady." She pause and says, "Yes?" The bird says, "You know." ;D
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Post by BudgiesBuddy on May 20, 2012 11:52:28 GMT
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