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Post by lemonade on Dec 19, 2013 20:50:05 GMT
As most of the regulars on the forum know, my little Lemonade has been having a proper struggle with his tumour. I had really hoped he would get better and my husband and I have tried so hard with new diet, medication, regular vet visits, everything really .... Yesterday he had a very rapid decline. He has stopped tweeting, lost all interest in the other birds, like he hasn't got the energy and He won't eat any fresh food, only millet. He won't even drink that much. All he wants to do is lie down flat on my other halfs laptop keyboard. He sleeps a lot then wakes and eats his millet and wants head scratches. In the evening last night he was having some kind of attack / spasm and it happened about 5 times. It was horrible, he was getting very stressed and scared, like he knew what was happening to him and I could see in his eyes how frightened he was. I really thought that was going to die, but then he kind of pulled himself together and settled down. Its really hard to accept but I know now his quality of life is gone. He can't even preen himself and we have to clean his vent as it's clogging up due to the tumour pressing down. I think he is struggling, but he won't give up, and watching him is heartbreaking. He's currently lying on the laptop sleeping, then waking for a munch of millet and sleeping again. He has done that all day. He tried once to fly to my fur collar and couldn't get the height and fell I know he's not going to get better and now the difficult decision is at the back of our heads as to whats best to do. I don't know if I could handle taking him to the vet but also don't want to be cruel if he is suffering. Thing is, I don't know if he is feeling sore or just knackered. He won't stop fighting. His little brain is still very alert but this horrible tumour is destroying his body. I really don't know what to do
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Post by kikkinu on Dec 19, 2013 21:03:33 GMT
that's so sad to hear.
I've experienced this before with a kitten i used to have and even though i cried my heart out, when I finally made the decision to put him down, cause it felt like I was the one to take his life away, after a while I came to terms with the decision I made, cause I knew if I was the one suffering I would probably beg my loved ones to make the hard decision and let me go.
whatever decision you take, he knows you love him alot and that sooner or later you'll have to say your goodbye's, yet you'll still keep him deep in your heart.
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Post by birdguhl on Dec 19, 2013 21:03:35 GMT
I'm so, so sorry to hear this. You've done everything humanly possible for him. For what it's worth I think I would be taking him to the vet - to save him more distress since his quality of life has dropped so much and for you too. But of course you must make that decision. Hugs from here.
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Post by mizloco on Dec 19, 2013 21:03:50 GMT
Sleep and in the morning you will know what is best to do for lemonade. it sounds like he is unable to fight it any more and finding it hard. My heart goes out to you and lemonade. Sweet boy.
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Post by OP on Dec 19, 2013 21:10:36 GMT
That really is sad reading. It has taken a lot of courage for you to write it. By what you are saying you know what the kindest thing to do is. It is a very, very tough decision to make. I for one will not even try to make the decision for you. I think your love for your Lemonade will help you decide. I wish I could help you with this, but I cannot. Be strong and do what must be done.
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Post by stace on Dec 19, 2013 22:22:04 GMT
This is one of the hardest decisions to make. I really feel for you in this.
All the things you are thinking are perfectly natural. You worry that it's too soon, or you're leaving it too late because it's too hard to let go. But none of us know your Lemonade like you do. You've been there for all the good times and shared all his love and affection and naughty budgie ways.
I know when this has happened to me, the thoughts afterwards were always that I'd hesitated for too long rather than let them go too soon. But it never felt like that at the time and in the moment.
When you are in this horrible place, it helps to think that you are doing something for them, rather than to them.
There are no easy answers in this, but I hope we can all let you know that whatever you decide, no decision is right or wrong.
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Oct 6, 2011 7:41:27 GMT
Marianne Marlow
Administrator
George, Daisy, Iris, Billy, Peter, Chipper, Dinku, Barney, Ayla and Rocky
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Post by Marianne Marlow on Dec 19, 2013 22:25:10 GMT
I'm so sorry. I know how hard this is, have had to make this decision twice already with my buds. Whatever you decide, we know it is with love. Hugs x
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Post by Buddy the Budgie on Dec 19, 2013 23:00:51 GMT
This is so sad, I really hope the little guy is okay, but if he shows signs of dying, put him in a very calm environment. To help calm him down when he gets scared, you can put him on a soft blanket and read to him and put some millet close to him when he gets hungry, some water nearby wouldn't be a bad idea, either, maybe even some soft toys or plushies he could cuddle with. Just make sure he is always comfortable in-case he eventually does get too weak and dies. I remember a few years ago, I found a quail chick in the middle of the road and took care of it. I knew it was going to die, so I put it in some blankets with food and water around it and a small plushie for it to cuddle with because it might have thought of it something like its mother. The chick died the next day, but I was still happy because I knew it died in a warm, safe place, and that's how it should be with any bird, or any pet, really. When they pass away you just need to remember that they had a great life with you. Best wishes. <3
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Post by Hezz on Dec 20, 2013 0:40:35 GMT
So sorry this has come on so quickly, lemonade. As has been said, no-one can make this decision, except you and your OH, you know the wee little man the best. This is one of the hardest things to have to face and you are facing it all so bravely. He knows you have tried your very best to give him his health back, but it wasn't to be. Whatever decision you make, you will be right. Don't try to second-guess yourself. Hugs to you and yours. xx
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Post by moonkira *Julie * on Dec 20, 2013 0:47:01 GMT
So sorry to hear about Lemonade x thinking of you x
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Post by ffiscool on Dec 20, 2013 9:52:08 GMT
thinking of you and Lemonade.. he is a brave boy and obviously feels your love and knows how much you are caring for him. It will comfort him to know you are there.
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Post by budgiefriend on Dec 20, 2013 13:08:03 GMT
The most difficult decisions are made with the greatest love. You and Lemonade will know when the time comes that you shared a love that brought joy into your lives together. Hugs to you both.
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Post by Moogie on Dec 20, 2013 15:51:47 GMT
oh im so sorry,i cant add any more than what the others have already said...my love and hugs go out to you both x
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Post by phoebe on Dec 20, 2013 16:59:48 GMT
Very sad indeed. Know that we are with you and lemonade.
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Post by lemonade on Dec 21, 2013 19:38:11 GMT
Hi everyone, well .... lemonade is still here On Friday he bizarrely perked up. Enough for me to be certain that I did not want to take him to the vet. Not yet. He started eating and instead of lying down he stood up and even tweeted. He got visits from the others and even in his condition he tried to preen Custard, bless him. Today he has had a good day. He has spent most of the day looking out the window and has been eating well and drinking. Again, he preened Custard, had a tweet and is currently sitting with Sprite. She is a very calm bird for him to be around, as she just quietly sits next to him, keeping him company, but not annoying him. Apple on the other hand is a pest, I'm having to keep him away from Lemon as he is too excitable and can't understand he needs space. I am going to put on a couple photos I took today
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