Oct 6, 2011 7:41:27 GMT
Marianne Marlow
Administrator
George, Daisy, Iris, Billy, Peter, Chipper, Dinku, Barney, Ayla and Rocky
Posts: 28,853
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Post by Marianne Marlow on Feb 5, 2022 12:33:16 GMT
What's happened? Are you and Cocoa okay? Never getting anything that's not a budgie ever again. Biggest mistake of my life.
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Post by willowsmum on Feb 5, 2022 13:02:58 GMT
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Post by Ira on Feb 5, 2022 13:42:59 GMT
I would say rehoming Munchy and Peri was my biggest mistake, but Munchy came home, Peri's happy, and I met my other budgies and learnt a lot as a result, so some good things came of it too.
Cocoa's fine. The biting's died down. He's cute. Until he starts bouts of contact calling. Which sometimes he does whilst he's sat on your shoulder. And it's louder than Pippin's food screech. Pippin, I will never curse your food call again. One of the most annoying things is that he doesn't really do it much when he thinks I'm not in the house. Which I guess means he really wants my attention. But it just makes me not want to be in the same room as him because I can't cope with loud, repetitive noises. The other evening the budgies were being loud too, so the contact calls on top of that, followed by clinking glass bowls and my housemate watching a video whilst doing the washing up made me retreat to a dark quiet room, stick on my woollen hat and shoving socks up under it over my ears to try to muffle all the noises.
I know all birds can be loud, and they contact called once or twice at the breeder's so I knew it was loud but it wasn't frequent, and linnies are meant to be relatively quiet. So now I'm avoiding the upstairs room which means not seeing the budgies either. And Cocoa's now been quiet for ages and all I can hear is budgie chatter, but if I go up there he'll want to climb all over me, which I enjoy, but then get yelly if I'm trying to do something and won't let him interact with what I'm holding (like my phone because unlike the budgies he actually causes damage). He doesn't like hand touch, barely tolerates nose touches to his beak, isn't interested in any toys that I offer him, and takes ages to show interest if I offer food, so all I can do when he wants more attention is talk to him, and I can't spend forever facing him and talking or nothing will get done.
He might settle in and get quieter and explore more. I can hope. Because I don't think I can put up with this for years. And maybe he'd be quieter if there was another linnie, but I really don't want another one.
On a really cute note, he loves tea. He snuggles near my warm mug and takes a sip if offered, and wil keep going back for more sips until I take it away. He's not as snatchy for my foods as the budgies tend to be.
Edit: Just heard him start up a bout. All seems to have gone quiet now, though, even the budgies.
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Post by willowsmum on Feb 5, 2022 14:31:02 GMT
Hopefully he's still in the settling in phase, getting used to his new flock mates and environment, learning what he can and can't get away with and maybe going through some hormonal changes as he grows up too. I imagine his behaviour will change as he develops so hopefully this is a short phase. It must be a big change and adjustment for you all too.
I can imagine him sipping your tea though - very cute!
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Oct 6, 2011 7:41:27 GMT
Marianne Marlow
Administrator
George, Daisy, Iris, Billy, Peter, Chipper, Dinku, Barney, Ayla and Rocky
Posts: 28,853
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Post by Marianne Marlow on Feb 5, 2022 15:11:12 GMT
I'm sorry you're having trouble with the noise he makes. I can empathise about the loud constant noises as when Eve shouts Mummy a hundred times a minute when I am trying to concentrate on something or Iris bashes the seed troughs constantly I sometimes have to leave the room (I don't leave Eve alone).
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Post by Ira on Feb 5, 2022 15:40:20 GMT
I admire you, Marianne Marlow. There were a couple of night shifts when I was on the ward where I could not get a baby to stop crying and I could not possibly imagine having to deal with a child every day. I've never wanted any anyway, but those shifts taught me that I really should not have children.
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Oct 6, 2011 7:41:27 GMT
Marianne Marlow
Administrator
George, Daisy, Iris, Billy, Peter, Chipper, Dinku, Barney, Ayla and Rocky
Posts: 28,853
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Post by Marianne Marlow on Feb 5, 2022 15:42:10 GMT
I keep telling myself it's a phase Ira! I won't have to deal with the bad moments forever.
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Post by ariella on Feb 5, 2022 17:20:49 GMT
I completely empathise Ira. Sometimes there’s only so much you can take of a loud noise and when it’s continuous it can become overwhelming. As said above, I hope it is just part of Cocoa settling in and perhaps if you make your noise used for naughty behaviour and Immediately remove him from you each time he does it, it’ll sink in and he’ll learn? Just thinking out loud really. It’d take some perseverance. Children take so much patience and if heaped on top of tiredness or feeling unwell it takes a lot to remain calm when dealing with a crying baby, whinging or demanding toddler, etc. I feel for you Marianne Marlow and yes, Eve will outgrow it but undoubtedly move into another stage that is annoying as kids do. But there’s plenty of really good stuff that makes up for it. I’m so glad none of my kids were the type to repeatedly ask “why?” over and over to every answer as that would have driven me bonkers. That said, having a son with autism and who goes through stages of echolalia has been very testing although selective mutism when distressed is worse by miles. Having a child non-communicative and non-compliant isn’t fun when you’re the last to leave Legoland, everyone else is in the car waiting to set off on a 4 hour journey to get home and he’s stood in silence refusing to get into the car. 2 hours later and a totally empty carpark except for us… (he has improved as he’s gone into his teens) Removing yourself from the situation is always preferable and so you’ve both done the right thing when it gets beyond coping with. I really hope you’ll be able to get back in the room and interact with the buds and Cocoa soon Ira. He sounds lovely and snuggly and cute when he shares some tea with you so I hope he learns quickly that there are boundaries and won’t feel the need to call so loudly when he’s actually with you. Perhaps it’s a insecurity realising that the budgies are also in need of your attention?
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Oct 6, 2011 7:41:27 GMT
Marianne Marlow
Administrator
George, Daisy, Iris, Billy, Peter, Chipper, Dinku, Barney, Ayla and Rocky
Posts: 28,853
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Post by Marianne Marlow on Feb 5, 2022 17:39:46 GMT
I'm also guessing that Cocoa can be clingy as he probably sees you as his "safe" place.
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Post by Ira on Feb 5, 2022 20:03:25 GMT
Probably.
We're trying to ignore him if he just randomly yells across the room at us, and then chat to him when he's quiet. But if he's on us we're aiming to remove him, or at least disrupt him. As he's often on a shoulder it's a little tricky, you sort of end up trying to shake him off. Because I picked him up the third time he yelled next to my ear this evening and got a really painful bite on the edge of my palm. He hasn't broken the skin but it was over three hours ago and I still have a red mark.
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Post by tweetiepiesmom on Feb 5, 2022 20:42:40 GMT
I feel for you! I know what it's like when Buddy gets on my shoulder next to my ear and yells! Hopefully all of this is just Cocoa growing up.
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Post by Hezz on Feb 6, 2022 1:21:56 GMT
If you are going to him and he starts yelling, immediately stop and turn around, wait until he stops yelling and turn around again to approach him. If/when he starts again, turn away, walk away. Repeat, repeat, repeat. It is much easier to achieve anything if everyone involved is on board. I don’t have that fortunate position - OH and Son will often get yelling themselves to “Shut UP, Loki” which is of absolutely NO help at all!! I could slap them both for not even bothering to try to work around the situation. Sun conures are considered to have one of the loudest calls and to use their voice the most, so it is not going to stop any time soon.
New birds are big time wasters, but try to make space every day to play with him, teach him how his toys work, find the things that most amuse or interest him, whether it be foraging, tunnels, shredding, boxes etc. Try everything, and then try them again.
Also, think about whether allowing him to be the household’s bird might be beneficial. It is a much better situation for everyone if the bird is happy to be with anyone of the household, and so will learn to be accepting of strangers in the house, and won’t be looking for only that one person as the be all and end all of its existence.
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Post by Morgan on Feb 7, 2022 22:51:46 GMT
Has Cocoa taken any interest in the budgies?
When Lottie was getting very clingy and while I was still waiting to find another linnie friend for her, if I left her alone with the budgies she would turn her attention to them instead. Of course, she is a girl and I had more boys than girls, so it could be if your one hen isn't interested in him or is too energetic for him that might not work out. None of the budgies really took much interest in Lottie either, but she did try to hang out with them. She only ever contact called when I left her alone in the bird room and walked out, but she would stop after a bit too.
I got Happy afterward and he stuck to Lottie pretty fast, so I don't know if this could be a gender difference in linnies either. I also picked Lottie by personality, so I think she was already innately independent. Maybe if I had gotten timid Happy first he would have been more troublesome as well. I'm sorry you're having a hard time with him, but it is still very early days, so don't despair!
Does Cocoa have a set routine so he knows when he will be left alone and when you will be around to interact with him? And when he is left alone is he in a separate cage by himself? That could also make him feel more stressed if he can't get near any other birds, cause linnies like to sit close to each other and cuddle. Maybe old man munchy wouldn't mind sharing a cage with Cocoa? I remember now that Lottie would always try to get a budgie boy in a corner and slowly scooch closer to him until they were barely touching (cause any closer and she learned the budgie would move, lol).
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Post by Ira on Feb 7, 2022 23:43:12 GMT
Hezz We've both started trying. You can't go too far from the cage though because if he's in one of his yelling fits then half the time when he pauses you turn and start to talk to him, only for him to yell again, so you never get more than half a step towards the cage. I confess to begging him to please shut up last week when I was trying to clean, and then proceeded to have a bit of a meltdown. When cleaning on Sunday I put earphones in with some music to take the edge off, which helped. Morgan He is in his own cage at the moment, because I didn't know how he and the budgies would behave towards each other. He'll eat alongside them, and sometimes if they're gathered he goes over to see what they're up to, only for them all to fly away. He's also somewhat still in the open beak and chase them off stage. But today he was exploring the room a bit more so he might start to open up a bit. There is sort of a routine, but after last Wednesday I've been avoiding going upstairs a bit. But when I'm with him and he's out he does settle. The odd call I can tolerate. It does make the budgies seem quiet in comparison though. It's the evening clean that's the worst, because he wants to come back out, but then at that time if he's out he gets yelly and nippy like he's tired and cranky. But when you cover him to sleep he first of all screeches as the cover goes over and then when you fully cover him he makes these sad noises. I might give it a while longer to see if he settles. I'm off with tonsillitis for a few days, so might as well try to work with him.
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Post by ffiscool on Feb 7, 2022 23:52:45 GMT
I’m sorry he’s causing all sorts of problems, but hopefully he’ll settle. Did you speak to where you got him from in case of any tips?
Can he have music or something on maybe to calm/distract? Are the sad noises definitely sad or could they be like when budgies mutter as they go to sleep?
I hope you feel better soon, unwell wise too
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