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Post by jellybean on Mar 3, 2020 8:46:30 GMT
Beautiful pictures Helen. Treasure the memories x
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Post by helenmat on Mar 3, 2020 8:51:00 GMT
Awww what wonderful pictures! And your mum was such a good mum, just to look at her she looks one in a million She was beautiful inside and out and it showed They are certainly huge shoes to step into but I suppose thats what I must try and do.
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Post by helenmat on Mar 3, 2020 8:52:36 GMT
I'm trying jellybean but at the moment the pain is just too much.
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Post by suesbird on Mar 3, 2020 9:03:41 GMT
Lovely pictures. You don't need to step into her shoes, just walk beside them,step in time. You will never lose the memories and the good times you had.
Well Helen that's me having to go and redo all my make up as the tears just flow with you. Thinking of you all.
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Oct 6, 2011 7:41:27 GMT
Marianne Marlow
Administrator
George, Daisy, Iris, Billy, Peter, Chipper, Dinku, Barney, Ayla and Rocky
Posts: 28,762
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Post by Marianne Marlow on Mar 3, 2020 10:22:14 GMT
Taking on the task of removing her jewellery must have been so hard for you.
I saw my dad in the chapel of rest after he died and it didn't even look like him. It was as if his essence had left his body.
I try to remember him in life, laughing and joking.
But the pain only fades. Sorry to be so morbid. My dad died suddenly too (traffic accident) and it's so hard to come to terms with.
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Post by Shirls on Mar 3, 2020 11:33:07 GMT
Such lovely memories.
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Post by Hezz on Mar 3, 2020 18:38:16 GMT
The photos yo have shared are lovely, Helen. The three generations of girls is a treasure, as they all are. It's easy to tell you are daughter, mother, grandmother. You are very lucky to have the family you have, making it extra hard to lose your mum, I am sure. My thoughts are with you all. xx
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Post by criswell on Mar 3, 2020 19:27:12 GMT
The photos of your mum are all lovely. I like the one of her sitting on the post, and in all of the photos she is having fun. So much personality shines through them. Everyone who met her must have liked her straight away.
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Post by helenmat on Mar 5, 2020 3:38:20 GMT
So today I organised my mums cremation and a celebration of her life for the 16th. I went to the doctor because I can’t sleep, like at all and she said I am suffering from shock bereavement and am not stable, she signed me off work for 2 weeks. I have a constant pain in my chest and feel sick all the time.
I’m ok for a while and then some random thought pops into my head and I’m crying my eyes out. I’m getting better at composing myself though.
I went through all my photos and I have 184 images which are of mum or have mum in them. I am going to make a picture book with them all in for my Dad, Me, Holly and my brother. I will get them printed and bound at work. There has to be some perks to the job.
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Post by blue48 on Mar 5, 2020 7:34:05 GMT
Well done on the organising, it does help to be doing something. At the moment you are in this strange limbo land and everything seems to take so long. Be kind to yourself, sleep when you can and talk about your mum to anyone who will listen. Talk to your mum too. I hope it will reassure you to know the feelings you are experiencing are normal helenmat. I have a little experience in bereavement, both as a retired nurse and from a course I attended on the grieving process. Also personal experience of course, but nothing can prepare you for the shock, even when a death is expected. It is a long process but one day you will find yourself smiling at the funny things your mum said and did, and in the course of time you will look back and remember the good things. It is only after the cremation and celebration of her life that you can think of taking baby steps forward, and even then it will be two steps forward and one step back. Sending big hugs x
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Mar 5, 2020 10:09:29 GMT
pipinz
Brand New Budgie
Posts: 1
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Post by pipinz on Mar 5, 2020 10:35:31 GMT
Hi Helen, I've just joined and saw your post, I'm so very sorry for your loss. The pain you're feeling relates totally to the love that your beautiful Mum gave you. You obviously love her tremendously and she loved you back just as much. Nothing but time will lessen what you're feeling now and being so new you must be feeling raw, surround yourself with people that love her too and relate stories about her to each other. I felt so much better doing this when my husband passed suddenly years ago. Listening to the various anecdotes from the past helped - just knowing how much he was loved by all these other people and the impact he had brought me immense comfort and things to remember when sadness swamped me again. Sending healing love and energy your way
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Feb 7, 2020 20:28:59 GMT
maryann
Brand New Budgie
Posts: 59
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Post by maryann on Mar 5, 2020 18:30:39 GMT
I’m proud of you for what you have done. That was a tough task but you did it. Losing your mom is so difficult. Remembering her and all of your time with her is what she wants. Try to smile when you think of the love and cups of tea and stories you shared. Her love will always be with you in everything you do each day. One day at a time. My heart goes out to you as you travel this path. Carry out her memory in love. 💔
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Post by tweetiepiesmom on Mar 5, 2020 19:11:35 GMT
Helen, my heart goes out to you. Everything that blue48 said is so true. I've helped out at my church in bereavement for several years now. It does help sharing your memories of her with your family and friends. You could even make it a family project putting together the pictures and talking about the memories as you do it. Don't try to do it all in one session. Also how about making it a family mealtime and everyone cooking a favorite dish of your mum to share? Glad you have the time off from work so you do what you need to at this time.
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Post by helenmat on Mar 6, 2020 2:09:41 GMT
Thank you all for your kind words, your support means the world. It also helps to write things down. We are still waiting for the coroner, she is planning to ring Friday pm with news. I’m still not sleeping. I even tried taking a pain killer (codine 30mg, from when I had foot surgery) in the hope it might knock me out, but here I am at 2am yet again. I also seem to be experiencing heart palpitations, I will phone docs in morning to see if they can help me. I feel like I am slowly learning to cope, it seems as though the time between meltdowns is increasing. The worst occasion today was as I was doing the dishes and we were talking about the coronavirus, I just casually slotted into the conversation that I hoped I wouldn’t catch it or I wouldn’t be able to see my mum. I had genuinely blanked out just for a split second that she had gone! It was like a steam train coming at me and I lost it altogether sobbing into the kitchen sink. ❤️💔
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Post by tweetiepiesmom on Mar 6, 2020 2:47:19 GMT
It is good Helen that you will be seeing your doctor about the heart palpitations. Hopefully your doctor will give you something to help with that. I've known people who have gone 2 weeks with very little sleep (mostly naps of about 30 minutes) and very little to eat after a sudden death. May I suggest that you get a protein drink (in the US we have Ensure brand) to sip on if you're not hungry or don't feel like eating. Its also good to have on hand if you're running around and get too busy to eat a meal. Also when you do sleep don't be alarmed if you have very vivid active dreams. Your body will adapt as you go through this. Keep your family close and remember the joyful times with your mum.
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